Magnets Won’t Stick

When our refrigerator quit working at Christmas, we temporarily replaced it with the old one stored in the garage.  Two months later, we purchased new appliances for the (just begun – finally!) kitchen remodel.  Diane favored black stainless steel.  I suggested Fire Engine Red – we went with black. 

Our previous frig had magnets covering about 80% of its face: statement magnets, car show dash plaque magnets, Robin’s Orlando soccer team icon magnet, multiple Mickey Mouses (Mickey Mice?), cat magnets, magnets holding comic clips, magnets holding new wisdom’s, old profundities, and the kitchen remodel ideas list.  There were magnets holding pictures and magnets that are pictures, like Kaydia’s Disney frame magnet picture from 2004. 

I counted fifty-eight magnets displayed proudly, like Pins, Metals, and Ribbons blazed across the chest of an exceptionally decorated war hero.  They made that individual refrigerator (a model owned by hundreds) – uniquely ours.

But, as our friend, Vicky, used to say, “Well guess what.”  Magnets won’t stick to black stainless-steel. 

Maybe….  Double stick tape?

These new appliances come with great new features, some curious warnings, and user qualifications.  There is a Mt Dew drawer that keeps my favorite drink colder than the rest of the frig – just the way I like it!  But, the Owner’s Manual warns, “Do not allow children or pets to touch or go near the drawer.”  We’re on the same page – I like that, too.

The frig will chime an alarm to tell me if the door did not close completely.  I wonder if that relates to the Intended User clause in the manual: This appliance is not intended for use by persons with reduced mental capabilities (who don’t close the door?).

The manual also directs: Keep children away from the dispenser.  Children may play with or damage the controls.  Keep flammable materials and vapors such as gasoline away from the refrigerator.

The list of Do Nots includes: Do Not store explosive substances in this appliance, Do Not put animals inside the appliance, and Do Not light a candle to remove odors in the refrigerator (yes – it is written!).

The Trouble Shooting section of the Owner’s Manual includes: “Hold the mouthpiece of your phone in front of the speaker that is located on the right hinge of the refrigerator door.”  Doing so, I imagine, would allow a voice to yell, “A person with reduced mental capabilities has two cats, a can of gasoline, and a candle in this refrigerator, and is about to light the candle!  Dispatch Police and Fire to this address immediately!”

I’m thankful that medically, things remain stable. I can live with that. If you’re still reading – thank you.